One week from today....7 calendar days are what separates me from 365 days food sober. As I started reflecting on this, I was oh I will do a whole one year in the making blog then...it hit me...I don't want to spend the day I am going to be setting new goals and planning for the next phase of my weight loss thinking about the past...so why not make this a two part blog...This week we look back on where I have been and why I started and next week we celebrate and look ahead to what is next.
This journey actually started in 2012...I have been up and down and losing the same....ready for this number 174 pounds for the past 4 years. My heaviest I tipped the scales at 334...That was January 1st. Now I am weighing in at 240....94 pounds lost....80 pounds to go. I am not the same person I was....and I truly have my faith and friends and family to thank for where I am today. I could not have done this without them....
In August of last year, I started working through the why I was losing the same 174 pounds over and over and over again. I mean seriously, they were not car keys, not my coffee cup, and not my sanity...I really really really did not want them back...so I worked the steps of OA and I started feeling and then I started seeing weight loss results this year. I have seen the scale move consistently down. By focusing on what I can change, what I can do, and what I have to do for me. I got selfish and it feels amazing!! I started turning the can not's into cans...into I will. I started empowering others around me....I started surrounding myself women that empowered me and slowly but surely I felt the darkness subside.
Now I am going to pause here and mention a group I am in on Facebook....
Makeup and Muscles.
This is one the few groups that is drama free, sales free, and supportive. The admins are two of the most supportive and inspiring people I know as well as being human and knowing exactly what we are all going through because they have been there too! This group has been a huge part of my success as every member there is supportive and an inspiration in and of themselves.
Now I started for a lot of reasons, but 4 years ago they were all the wrong ones. They were the wrong ones because they were not for me. Now that I shifted the focus to me....it is taking off!! I also of course, turned this over to God and am following this according to his plan. I also had a major epiphany in these past few years....I can love me, just as I am, with no regrets. I can be unapologetic-lily me and no one could make me feel guilty for it anymore.
Like a light bulb going of...it all came together. I was worth it, I was beautiful, and I was not second class for loving my curves. We hear it all the time, you did not gain all the weight over night, we won't lose it over night....so why must we wait till we are goal weight to love ourselves?
When this happen....it was an amazing feeling. I do not have to wait for that magic number to be on the scale to be proud of where I am. I do not have to wait till I am shopping in smaller section....speaking of there is a blog coming on plus size clothes...and the ridiculousness of clothing sizes and shopping for them! But in the past year I learned to love me...for me and to happy with myself....and again I saw weight moving and changing when I let go of having to be a certain whatever to be worthy of self love! I learned I can not beautiful to anyone if I don't feel like it...I could not expect my husband to love me, till I truly loved me. If I am asking someone else to love me for me....faults and all, I have to be willing to do the same. So now I dress for my size and the temps....you can do cool, classy, and plus size pretty cute with the right pair of leggings and top! I do my hair, take the selfies, hell I danced my heart out at the concert the other night not caring about my size and I was stone cold sober!
So looking back....I am glad I started this...I am glad that I struggled and that I was led down this path because this past year has been magical as I quite smoking, found myself, and started losing weight! I am so ready to dance party on the 23rd after I weigh in and post the blog about what comes next of course!!
Of course a year in review would not be complete without pictures!!! I will have a true side by side...before and after next week....but this is where we have been and where we will not be again! As I end the review and release all the baggage from the years past....I wanna thank everyone who has been reading and following along!!!! We are heading to the next level as I work on losing the other half of the second person I was carrying around!
But just for today, I am gonna catch up the house and get ready to go bed shopping next week! What better to celebrate joint addiction kicking with the hubby than buying a brand new queen size bed?
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