Side Note...rant and necessary info

So I know it has been a few days since I have last posted.....been busy between school and a teething baby. I have also had some time to think about a few things and well what I have on my mind is important.

I am a fat ass....have been a fat ass since my teens.  I am also active.  I at one point worked a full time job, volunteered with an ambulance service, and volunteered with a fire company as both a member of the Ladies and the firefighters.  I am now a stay at home mom to an adorable 4 and 1/2 month old.  Today I want to talk about image and how wrong society can be about certain things based on a friends FB status and a conversation with a very dear friend about work out videos.

Society sucks when you become bigger then a size 14....you now have to shop the plus size section where the clothes look like something you would pull out of your grandma's closet unless you can afford to shop the high retail stores, you have to endure looks from people who think that you sit and eat and never do anything, god forbid you stop at MacDonalds, and above all else places are just not fat ass friendly.

Excuse my language....Fuck Society.....They don't know what you are facing and what you have been through to put you in this place.  Do not get me wrong, specifically since I have been living by and a military installment,  there are the sloppy fat asses and people who just don't care and go out like WTF? We all have seen peopleofwalmart.com.  but most of us are just plain unlucky and fighting to maintain and take off what years of childbearing and other things have done to us (we will get into the other in later installments).  Do not pay attention to the bullshit stares and comments.  Remember the age old comment....I maybe fat, but I can still lose weight....you will always be ugly.

I have a thick skin and a kick ass personality because I have fought and dealt with this for 17 years.  There is not a fat joke I haven't heard and I learned to rise above the bigotry.  Surround yourself with friends and family that get you and love you...all of you.

Now those workout videos....The work out tapes that are pushed are not made for those of us who according to the BMI scale (Refer to Bullshit Meter Idiot for more in depth explanation of this scale) are obese or morbidly obese.  Sometimes health reasons and limitations keep us from performing fully what they are expecting us to do.  I have been dieting for a month now and I have been working out at least 3 to 4 days a week and have a hard time fully doing a complete workout.  For those of us that are just truly starting out on this journey we have to listen to our bodies and follow those cues.  Yes no pain no gain, but if you can't breathe you aren't helping yourself.  Yes push yourself through it, but do not kill yourself.  I push hard through every workout I do, I commit myself to that 20 minutes, and I get through it.  But I do not go over that 20 minutes and if I can't breathe, if I need water, I stop and I do what I got to do to get through it.  Now when I first started I got through only 10 minutes before I couldn't do anymore and I am looking to by the end of November be working out for 30 minutes.  But if I can't, I can't.  


To summarize this....It is what it is.  Push hard, do what you can, stay true to who you are, and do not let your outside define you.  If they don't like you fuck'em, you didn't need them around anyway.  Words can weigh heavy on a person....and the weight of those words is harder to lose than any of the pounds we are trying to lose.