Planning or overthinking?

I am a pro at procrastination. If it can be put off...I am going to put it off.

 I can plan, and plan, and I can say well I have x amount of days so I will start it tomorrow...but tomorrow never really gets here till the thing I am prepping for it actually TOMORROW!! So the first thing I am committing to is no more procrastination. There will be days when my body is gonna make me slow down, but I am going to take better advantage of the ones where it lets me rock and roll!! So here is the deal...I am making a commitment for July..31 posts in 31 days...this does not count for the 1st...I will be doing on later on today's, Well July 1st reading.

Speaking of commitment, I made a commitment to do something way outside of my comfort zone in a few areas of my life...I am attending a bible study every Tuesday Morning, I am volunteering my time for VBS, and I am actually helping with a part of the bible study on Tuesday that makes it a commitment to not only be there, but to work on this spiritual growth thing I have going. See I set on major goal in January to be a better me in December then I was in January.

I didn't actually start really working towards that goal till April, so 4 months in and I can see and feel the changes. I am in no way done...I am done being negative, I am done being a pushover, and I am hiding behind my past and making excuses for things. But I am also not wasting my second chance at being this person I want to be.

 Second chances, things that are not handed out...luckily mine was given to me by a higher power and I did not need to rely on anyone to give it to me.

  When I started OA, I figured it would be something that I would do for awhile, get bored, change my mind...but I am finding the deeper I get into it, the more I have no intention of ever stopping...I will always be in recovery...oh well...it brought me back to where I belong. For the first three weeks, I used HP and I tried clinging to the religious beliefs I had and found that they either A)Didn't fit the program or B)I was drifting back to the original HP that lead me to the experiences that molded me into the person I was becoming before choices got in the way.

 See, I made the choice to throw everything that I was taught growing up away. I made the choice to allow others behaviors to split me from where I was headed and I allowed others to influence me into making choices that I did not want to make. All of the choices, while yes led me to where I am sitting today...they were not the best choices. Do I regret them, not at all...again they brought me here where I am able to use my story to help someone else. So I would do it all again in the same order I did it in the first time...the only change I would make is to find my husband sooner so I could love him longer. He is a blog of his own though...lol

I have a restored faith in not only God, the church, but in life and in the people of the church...as I dip my toes in the water and slowly work my way back into things. I also have a restored faith in me...this past week left me a little rocky, but again I recommitted to making it happen. I  have not been to a meeting in forever either...because of the chaos, but starting Thursday....I am going back to meetings and mediation and reading and just all round making things happen in my life.

 So I am making plans and working on my schedule but I want to close with this...there is a difference between planning and over thinking. I am planning on having everything in my home done by July 15th...little every day and having a master to do list that I check at least three things off of a day...(and no drink coffee is not on the list...that is just a given) But will I beat myself up if it is not done..nope. Will I start over thinking the process and making it overwhelming with how it HAS to be done...nope.

Will I borrow troubles by stressing out about getting it done...nope. I am going to plan to be successful and be committed and determined to maintain this change....I mean in all seriousness...if I can go 60 days without a cigarette...If I can go 88 days without Doritos or a REESE CUP....I can do this!!!! 

So just for today...I am gonna plan to write out my action plan and do some self care!!! Tomorrow will take care of it self tomorrow.

One day at a time!!!!!