When fitness went to hell and the road back (2020 Wrap Up part 2)

 This right here sums up what had happened was with my fitness in 2020. I honestly did say f'it. I tried to train for a marathon, my mind and heart were not in it, so I stopped. Then I thought, well, why don't we just focus on what I eat...well, I did focus on it, but it was not in the traditional sense, I think I really got to fitness' this food into my mouth. 

I also thought I was gonna hit 2020 miles in 2020, yeah I could say I only got (to date and more year so will update at the very end...) 1131.7 miles....ONLY??!!?? Dude, you do remember for 3 months they told us to stay the f' home! 

Now is the point in the writing that I can continue to tell you all the things that didn't work and fill you will all the reasons  (read that as excuses)....or I can own my 'ish and be my authentic self tell you that I learned a lot this year and tell you what went well, what I tweaked, and what I learned is not for me! 

This year started rough with losing a job and then a pandemic; I went from working full time to not at all. It was great for my school work, and the slow down was much appreciated. But there was a mental shift that I had to work around, specifically going back to retail management, more specific the same position I left to take the lost job on top of finally cracking because I took on too much as I went into the fall. I literally forget who I was and what I can accomplish. 

I had a break down because everything I did had the word work in it. Housework, homework, schoolwork, work out, work work...I could not escape WORK... So except for the one that paid my rent, I kinda stopped doing all other work. 

Now, yes, I did find a healthy way of eating in August that helped...I started a modified to fit for me dirty, lazy keto. I am not fully keto; I am not entirely eating plan except for the Audie plan. The one that serves me, I eat foods that fuel in smaller portions, or I will modify the family meal with separate side dishes. I am celebrating 5 years binge free, so I am mindful of being too restrictive while staying within what works for me. But best believe if bitch wants a Reeses, bitch has a Reeses. This also helped me when I started the return to the main road from the detour I took. 

I am also 99% positive the return to retail in June really saved me from me...that was 4-5 days a week that was guaranteed movement. There was also an excuse to eat out...I mean, I could still get Mcdonald's without the bun and ketchup, and that was ok. But was it? Yes, it was. Even though the movement was small and pretty much only if I was working or the little bit I did on my downtime, even though it was still fast food or take out, I was taking action to move and be mindful of what I was eating. I was cognizant of the choices I was making! Being mindful is a way to begin to take action. I saw results, but mentally, I was getting worse. I reached a breaking point that was a crossroads that led to where I am sitting right now. 

Because even as unintentional the movement and as weird as the choices, I saw something...I was being consistent in making at least one right choice for that day. So much so...I am celebrating a drop of 34 pounds since June; 5 pounds of that is the visceral fat around the organs, 5.7% body fat dropped, and I have lost 12 inches. All of this excites me...because I did not really put any effort into this. I did no crazy challenge, I did not follow a fantastic nutritional plan, I did not have a routine or a plan...I did this in complete and utter chaos in my head, environment, and schedule. (seriously...how many times can they tell us the kids are going back to school and say psych!) I also have completed over 100 yes.fit races add in my others, and I am approaching 125 virtual races completed...um, if I can commit to this, I can achieve more.  

So when I sat back and reflected on this...I realized that I was not making the progress I wanted in fitness and nutrition because I overcomplicated it. I had to have a workout plan, a nutrition plan, and if I could not get those foods welp, I guess it is pointless to do the workout because I am not eating that way. Dude, I was self-sabotaging, so I dug deeper and realized I was still afraid of losing weight. 

Yup...in a nutshell, fear was holding me back and keeping me stagnant. I thought I had dealt with that, but it must have snuck back in when I was not looking, so I cast that out again and decided that moving forward...I needed to rely on the old KISS method.

So, I simplified things. Nutrition-wise, following my current eating plan, I eat low carbish with simple substitutions or omissions when necessary. I also am striving to eat 3 meals a day that I don't necessarily cook and are not takeout but will get into installment 3. 

When it comes to fitness...well, here is how simple I am going...I have to move my body intentionally for 30 mins. It could be yoga, it could be walking (in place on my sand dune), dancing, an actual work out, or a combination of some of the above. I also have ensured I am getting at least 48 ounces of plain water...not bean water, not sparkling, not flavored...just right old fashion turn on the tap and fill a glass of water a day.  If these three simplified tasks can get me this kind of results in a season that I usually throw in the towel and just start over in March, what happens if I keep going on this path until March?

That is actually what we are going to find out...together. As I move into 2021, I plan to maximize what I accomplished in 2019 & 2020. To do that, I will continue what I have started to keep moving forward for the first time in my adult life...

As I move forward and start to wrap up this installment, I also want to point out that I do not have a goal weight...

Yup, you read that right...NO GOAL WEIGHT! I have an ideal body structure and look I would like to have, but I have never been smaller than a size 18 in my adult after kid bearing life...I don't honestly know what that looks like. So I am just going to run with this, embrace the changes and shifts as they come! 

I want to end this one with this...I am not one to shy away from a challenge, and after spending the last five years focused on getting to the roots of issues and healing mental issues and traumas, I can say I am seeing clearly for the first time in a long time. I feel strong and focused, and having my freak out 3 days before Thanksgiving this year was a game-changer that led me here. 

I know what I have said over and over, so much, so I know that I have many that don't believe me. But this year feels different, and there is a different approach than I have previously taken. So to those that doubt me or say I can't (in the say I can't, there are even some medical professionals), just watch me. My excitement for the changes I am seeing is finally more prominent than my fear, and the only way to conquer the fear is to do the thing I am afraid of...

More to come on this in the 4th installment, but next time we talk about an introduction of something that pretty much saved me from me thanks to my husband...again (He really is going to think I am some weird damsel in distress here soon!). 

Till next time, 

Audie!