Write a book they said, it will be fun they said. So, I said fuck it and I started writing a book. I hired an editor, and I got to work. I knew what I want to do this, hell I wanted to do this since I was 6. I planned a book, then the next three to complete the first series. I also have at least the idea for the first two books in the next series so...6 books laid out.
This was back in May that I decided to do this. I set up my KDP account, set up a preorder, I said fuck it we are writing a book. I was wrapping up a fanfic project where I met the newfound editor. We got down to business, we started our WIP with a 2500 short story and a scene where one MC picked up the other MC in a pick-up truck. But...let's be honest, I am not in a position where I am sitting around sipping ice coffee and taking dictation from the imaginary characters in my head, nope not even close, yet. So, shall we recap what was happening around me?
May-My emotional support coworker (ESC) fell and started 3 months outta work. I also was now working 3 jobs because camping season started. Landlord screws with my budget with quick switch up and promises to handle electric bill.
June-Quit one job, still have two and one of which I picked up a few more hours to help out were ESC was out. Mini turned 13. Landlord blows me off till last minute for electric bill, gives me account info., okay we can breathe. Lose one of the authors in the summer project. Husband in car accident.
July-Summer project completed and goes live! ESC still out, work still nuts. Electric Bill, yeah that check bounced...3 times! Back and forth with Landlord. Dive into writing what is now called Under My Skin. First book in the Skin Deep Series. It is so busy everywhere! Trying to have a social life, be a writer, and of course be a mom/wife/employee...feel like I am failing miserably. Oh yeah, we finally got a car again.
August-Writers block, get disconnect notice from electric company. ESC FINALLY COMES BACK TO WORK!!! Landlord and I finally have understanding between rent and electric bill. I do get some writing done, but not where I need to be. Stop doing anything but writing and working. Car goes into shop. Thank God it broke down in parking lot.
Mini spent summer in therapy. I spent summer trying to balance everything.
September-I am behind schedule, still trying to finish the damn book. I am so stressed; I am just done. I don't wanna do this anymore. I wanna say fuck it and scrap the whole project. No one is gonna read what I wrote. They are all gonna hate it, why bother. Oh yeah, the guy I thought was my landlord, is not. There is a whole other group, don't know where they came from and they think I am not paying my rent. I am getting ready to move, no I think we can make this work, nope I am moving. Just need a date to know when the new apartment will be ready. Dude, I still need to finish this book, we started planning a release party.
Confused yet? Cause I know I am, and this is my life. I work 13 days on, day off, work 3 days, day off and start the 13 over again. I do not know if I am coming, going, what day it is...well wait where I am standing tells me what day it is.
I plan, write it down, figure it all out. And then one thing starts a snowball and I am now being pulled under...so much going on in my head, I can't even hear my characters and yet, I am over here forcing something to appear on screen. Then it hit me, I know what all of this is.
It happens every time I set out to do something for me. Every time, the universe steps in and has to ask how committed are you to this? Well, I am so glad you asked, I am really committed to this, I have only wanted this for 39 years and while it took a while to get to the point where I have a book cover and a preorder up on fucking Amazon...I want this too much. The rest of the series will be a little easier as I have better outlines for the story as well as the process is now known.
I will be living in a new place where I can trust the landlord and I don't have to wonder if he is paying the bills on the property that I give him the rent to pay. I also will spend 6 months working one job, two days off a week and resetting the family.
With all of this being left here today, I can hear my boys. I can see the ending of the story clearly and can feel the creative juices flowing again.
If you are still with me at this point, God bless you. I would have noped the fuck out a long time ago if it wasn't my life. I mean seriously, I write fiction, and I couldn't make any of this up and the Russian Mob is the back story of my debut novel. Fuck.
So, I said (rambled, word vomited, call it what you will) all of this to say this...No matter what the commitment is that you make, the universe will test it. This was a shitty test to go through over the past 4ish months, but at the end of the day, write the book it really is fun!
Till Next time y'all!
-Audie
Comments
Post a Comment