Resentment in the pursuit of happiness

In the past few months I have been doing a lot of soul searching and getting not only my head space, but getting my life. I have processed a lot of emotions and a lot of events that happened to me in the past ten years. There is still a few more things that I am dealing with, but there is one that no matter what I try and I do, I can not move past. I was hurt, taken aback, and stunned over what a friend had posted on Facebook about an event in my life that was a standout moment for me.  I thought I had processed and let it go, I found out here recently I had not. I was still letting them have the head space and it was still effecting me.

 This is not a something that people are not familiar with. A lot of us do it. Why? I know for me, it was anger. Anger that someone who was supposed to be a friend, instead of talking to me about something, took to a public setting to take away from my accomplishment. At the time it even took me out of my character and had me posting vague statuses, stooping to their level. I took them down after a a few hours and had the chance to calm down, I even blocked and deleted this person. I figured that was the end of it, it was not. There was still something festering inside of me about it and this person did not or does not know, because I know longer associate with them. The only person I am hurting at this point is me. So today I am letting it go. I am no longer allowing them the rental of my head space, I have other things to put there. I am in a pursuit if happiness, no longer dwelling on situations that have no effect on my here and now. I have to get my life, and that is the only one I am focused on as of now.

And this saying...get your life, for the longest time, I was confused by it...till I sat down and thought about it. I was focused on all the things I could not control. I was focused on how people perceived me, not how I perceived myself.  I was worried about what others would think of  up and down weight, so much it had me almost a recluse and only hanging out with a few people. So today marks the day, I let it all go. No more resentment, no more hiding, no more feeling like I can't make a difference. I can, and I will. In my own time, on my own schedule, and when I am damn good and ready to handle it.                                                                                              

 I have never been one to regret anything, till now. When I realized how much power I had given people whether through resentment or allowing them to make me feel less then what I was. I know I post and talk a lot about things going on in my life between here and Facebook. The one area I do not discuss is my volunteer work. I do not do that for recognition. I do that to pay forward some past kindnesses bestowed on me. I will never change that. I also am an open book and if you ask I normally will let you know what I am doing and what is going on.














Gotta wrap this up, need to be mommy and got some school work to finish. Time to forgive, not forget. I will never forget the wrongs done and will never allow myself to be put in the position you can do it again. But I am feeling like I am hitting a lot of my 2015 goals for a better me. I still have a long way to go, but I have a whole lot of year left to accomplish it. Have another blog coming up later about my BFF's visit and some fun stuff kicking off in 9 days...stay tuned and as always....



Happy Dieting!!!