Complete 360!!!

Music is a powerful thing, it is crazy how much it can make you feel. It is also crazy how much you feel when stop feeding twinkies to them. It has been a crazy month and a half...crazier that I found a program that I committed to that changed everything and nothing at all.

This program changed everything about me, how I see me, and how I feel about me. I am no longer gonna hide in this corner because I am not a size two, I am no longer gonna spend my days making excuses for why I can't, and I am not gonna apologize for things I did not do or cause.  It is like the end of the Wizard when Glenda tells Dorthy why you had the power all along....like really, you put me through all of this to tell me something you could

have told me a dozen flying monkeys ago!!!
BUT if I had not made the journey, I would not have become friends with myself again, I would not have stepped out of my comfort zone. I would not have learned how to forgive, hell I would not have learned my own strength.
 So no, nothing has changed in theory. I am just doing a 360 in my way of thinking.








In all reality if you had told me this time last year, I would be on a healthy track. I would be in OA, my husband would have made the changes he made, and I would have quite smoking and drinking mountain dew.....

That is the look you would have gotten!!!! But, IT IS A REALITY!!

I have to work at it every single day...I have to rely on a higher power to keep me doing what deep deep deep down, buried under every soda and snack cake I ever consumed, I knew I needed to do. I went in to this with my inner child kicking and screaming...and I do mean tremendous threenager I have to leave the park fit.

But now, I enjoy my meetings, my posts, and discovering who I am!!!

 Cool and calm I got it!!! I finally figured it out for today...who knows I may wake up confused tomorrow.

But for today I have realized a few things...I am not gonna find an answer for any of my problems at the bottom of a bag of dorritos, eating a fudge round is not a fix it all for a bad day a good walk out or dance party works better!!! And finally, I am not some weak push over who has to put everyone before myself!!!

My inner strength is bad ass!!!

SO for today I am gonna make the best of it...I am gonna give it my all, and know that I am successfully taking my life back one day at a time!!!