My pebble in a shoe moment

17 days ago, I got my attitude adjustment. I hit the ground running from that day...I have picture proof (another 19 days...weird I know I thought so too, but hey before I digress). I started June 1st off and for the last 12 days, I have 8000 plus steps. I finished the Cheshire cat 24 miles in 6 days. 16.2 miles left of the Pacific Coast to walk...won't finish by Ab's birthday, but will finish by Friday at the latest making it 30-31 days to walk 113.2 miles in the middle of my worst flare in awhile!!

There is the picture proof that 8000 steps and increased water is much healthier and a step in the right direction. So I was thinking, I got this...I am grounded in my religion, I am making moves, and then it happen, I found a pebble in my shoe.....

Life! Life was getting crazy again. I was losing my drive to get up early and spend time in thought and prayer and meditation...I needed sleep. I was pushing so hard to move forward and getting so frustrated at how long this flare was lasting...I was in tears because I should not be flaring this hard, right? Wrong, I was fighting so hard to keep it from happening, not getting that time for me to be still and release all the negative emotions and allowing myself to get drawn into a whole slew of not my circus, not my monkey moments....I turned a pebble into a rock and just in case you are wondering what a full blown fibro flare feels like...

And for those that don't know what I am talking about, this is what a fibro flare is:

 What it is not, is an excuse to quite. What I can not do is stop, I am a Mom, wife, and student and apparently I have used up all my sick days in these three jobs so I press forward. I want to pause and explain, my husband is an amazing man and he helps me through the flares the best he can. He has carried more laundry up and down stairs, told me to sit down, and has adapted to having a wife that some days simply can keep the kid alive and happy and that is it. He is an awesome man and I push to meet him in the middle so we can continue this uphill climb we are on. So as I sitting here dumping the rocks out of my shoes....that constant nagging feeling that comes with it. You know what I am talking about....the I can shake my foot and it will move and I can do this....yeah that feeling about my Mama time. Well, this morning I sat down and I picked my books back up and WHAM!!! Let me break it down for you...

First-I am hit with a Newsboys song from 1990 I had long forgotten- Lost the Plot. The Chorus goes something along the lines of:
Sigh.
Let's be blunt.
We're a little distracted.
What do you want?

Once we could follow,
Now we cannot.
You would not fit our image,
So we lost the plot.

 Then came this verse...once again Paul, right on time literally. I was headed for a neurotic moment, it was seconds from isolating!!! I was gonna keep plans and that was it. No more than I had to. I have been brought to my knees but God was not done yet, check this one out...

Okay, so that is not what I am supposed to do...so hmmm what do I do? As I dig into todays page in the less of me more of Him book, the opening line...

Say what?  This is a diet or rather a lifestyle overhaul book...and as I read the message it was simple....it is about discipline and saving room for desert both physically and spiritually. I mean I can turn an avocado into chocolate mousse so...yes even when eating clean and healthy there is always room for desert!

There has to be self control and discipline to not over eat and allow for that bowl of decadence, just like there has to be self control and discipline to make that time in the morning to spend with my Maker in sweet, sweet, sweet silence. To be still and not rushing for just 20 minutes. Now as heavy as this has been...there is some humor in it and that came from my food for thought book....

Today's food for thought, stop researching and testing theories. I mean seriously,  I am "recovered" I am 72 days from 365 continues days of living in the fact that I have not binged or gorged or restricted after a binge....why can't I have a Mountain Dew to celebrate? Because my recovery is not a science experiment, there is not theory to test...well I guess I could have just...STOP IT!! God did not bring me this far, to start over again. So, I will not apologize for not living in a maybe and continuing along the path that has worked for 293 days....





To wrap this up and then finish the three discussion boards for intro to business,
  There is always humor, we may have to dig for it and have to really dig down for it, but it is there...and always be awesome!!! No matter what the day brings...there is always a reason to be awesome, kind, and laugh!

Till next time, just for today...I am going outside to play!!