Sunday, November 25, 2012

Small Victory...Big Challenge

So I know I have discussed comfort eating and using food to solve our problems, but this week I did a major no no but bounced back quickly.  See I lost my mom three years ago and this past week with it being Abbie's first Thanksgiving it was hitting me hard.  On an outward appearance I was holding together for the most part.  I was still watching calories and trying to work out...but inside my head was fucking with me.  See I was making myself think I was hungry but in all actuality, I was not.  I thought maybe I had increased my metabolism and my calories needed to be increased as well  and should check my BMR, but it was no where near weigh in day or time to check it so I would just wait till Thursday.  Tuesday I did a very intense work and Wednesday as well.  I couldn't get enough to eat.  I thought okay I will try and increase protein and that should fix it.  Then on Wednesday after having a 600 calorie lunch an hour later I was starving again and as I headed out to kitchen to find something to eat, I realized, I was not hungry I was upset.  I slapped myself on my hand and left the kitchen.  I then let myself have a real good cry, took a solo walk when Daddy got home and enjoyed Abbie's first Thanksgiving.  On Friday I jumped right back into the swing of things.

I know in my original discussion for lack of a better word I said to get real mad at the situation and use that for the fuel for the motivation to get back into the game and lose the weight.  But what if the weight is sadness?  What if what is causing the problem is not physically there to confront?  This got me thinking...how do I fix the issue of not having anyone to be mad at because my Mom is no longer here? How do I stop the holiday comfort eating, because no amount of food I eat will bring her back?  I figured it out...I let myself cry, I let myself talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I let myself let go...I will never truly be over the loss, but I know my Mom is rooting me on from the other side as the weight comes off and I know she is proud of me for taking control of the issue.

See it took it took me back sliding  to realize that comfort eating is not about doing something besides eating when you get pissed off, or hurt, or just plain in a funk...it is about taking control.  Control over the mind, the food going in, and effort going into the weight loss plan that you are on.  Only you can decide whether to give into the cravings or let it go.  Letting go of yesterday gives you control over today.  So now instead of getting mad or upset and heading for the Oreo's, I figure out what is bothering and take control back.  I can go for a walk, I can use my just dance, or I can get on the floor and play with my little girl before I hit the kitchen.  So  today I challenge you to do the same...take back control.

Happy Dieting

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous11/25/2012

    This is a great blog. I am sorry that you are going through a tough time, but I am so proud of you for the steps you took to deal with the grief. You are one smart cookie...er..um..not "cookie"...something healthy. :) I love reading your blogs and your no bs approach.

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  2. Thank You, it was a hard thing to do and now the bounce back has been my biggest bounce yet. Let's just hope I can keep my head in the game and get through Christmas.

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