What a week...

So I said daily blogs and all that fun stuff, unfortunately life got in the way last week. I had my daughters birthday party yesterday and last week was all about getting ready for that...but today I am recommitting to my daily posts...I have missed my quite and meditation time.

So yesterday I had someone snap some pics of me and at first glance....I was wow, I really need to double down on some of the changes I am trying to make...

And then I really looked at that picture and I started really thinking and going back through old pictures...

The black dress is from 2011!

I Have come a very very long way!! Still have aways to go, but definitely some  progress!!!                        












When I really stop and sit down and think about where I was, and where I have been, and where I am headed...I realize that I have had a shift in my attitude. I knew how to play the victim the well...today I am still guilty of this for a bit, but I also have an attitude of mercy or forgiveness...including forgiving myself for not being what everyone thinks I should be. I spent so so much time doing that, I forgot who I truly was...this OA journey is actually for me not about the foods I can or can not have, it is not about the things I am giving up...it is rediscovery of self and what I am gaining in self confidence...I was in shorts!!!

My story and what I want to share is becoming a driving force in this...each positive step forward is exciting, so much so that I want more!!! I want to lose the weight, but I want my positive head space more!  Speaking of the head space...I have found a character flaw I am working on....my headspace is no longer for rent!! 

 I am getting better at forgiving, but just because I forgive does not mean that I forget and that I am gonna let this happen again...remember, no longer the victim!! Pain will teach us a lesson, but we do not have to stay there!! Painful is not always good for me and that saying no pain no gain...well once I have gained all I can...that pain needs to be gone...I live with enough with the fibro!!!







So there is about to be some winds of change and in that change there is a full shit of focus. I am no longer focusing on what that attempted to kill me...I got the strength to move forward from there!!! I am focusing on doing things that which make me happy and help me grow into the person I wanted to be at 17. I got a little distracted. It was a distraction that was needed...it lead me here!! Stay tuned...big things to come....thought I was done...far from it.

 So grab your popcorn and watch the rebuild happen and watch this imperfectly perfect beautiful disaster become not only a person who no longer hides, but one that will no longer allow anyone to tell me how to feel or handle my life. Don't like my life...get your own.








Just for today...I am gonna conquer some fears and make some big steps coming out of my comfort zone.