Confidence

 This week I am talking about confidence. I am doing this for a few reasons. I have felt more confident, I have been seeing some shifts in energy and all kinds of things. BUT there is a fine line from being confident and being narcissistic. Which that is never good! I also want to apologize the images are a little out of whack, I loaded the ones I wanted and just kinda shifted left or right. I left my mouse at the chapel on Thursday night so I can't really move them like I want! Anyway, this weeks epiphany if you will.









 I suffered from a lack of confidence. While it was not obvious, I had a hard time with a few things. See I have a genetic condition that caused my teeth to rot so I now have no top teeth. I am obviously overweight or we would not have started down this path in 2012, and I tend to be over bearing at times because I do not drive and certain things about my personality is strong and it takes some strong willed people to mesh well with me. I was the person always being told, it is not you, it is me...YEAH Okay...cause I haven't heard that one before. These are character flaws and defects that I am working on. 

The other side of that is when you have people feeding you compliments constantly and they are doing from a good place...but you know deep down, too many of them and you will be taking doors sideways so you and ego can fit through the door...so be confident, but stay humble.

As things are starting to come together, like today at the grocery store I was pulling the food out of the cart and putting it up on the belt and I am seeing produce bag and veggie and green and I walked right past the moutain dew and the pepsi (It has been over 17 days with no pepsi!!) and grabbed a Dasani when I realized I had not had water. I asked my husband....when did this happen? I had no snack cakes in the cart, I had fruit, cheeses, and slim-fast snacks. These are things that boost your confidence. BUT my husband helps keep me humble...HE says yes we do well at home, but how about eating out?? Touche' Babe Touche'! I can shop confidently knowing I have a meal plan and knowing what I am getting, but put me in a restraunt and I am fat kid status!

 Lets talk about work outs...I don't like to do them, at all! My thought was why should I? It is not like I will make a difference....oh yeah about that. I started playing Just Dance as a joke with Ab's and now we dance party every night when Daddy goes to bed. I self sabotage weight loss, I do not know how to be skinny, so I have no self confidence when it comes to rocking that weight loss body. That one that is small here, bigger there...odd fit cause this size is too big but the next one down is too small...even underwear needs to be 1/2 sizes. I get aggravated and say forget it...also need to mention those words...you look great, wow you have lost some weight. They turn into well, I look great I am done...I am finally doing what I have been afraid to do for the longest time! I am losing 10% of my body weight (5 times, but smaller numbers are the easiest way to do this!)



Now that we have discussed all of this, I want to take some time to mention a few details here.

1. No one has the right to destroy your self confidence. Even if over confident there are ways to let you know!
2. Everyone is not gonna like you, everyone does not matter. 
3. Your confidence level is should not be attached to the number on the scale, the BMI reading, or any other physical look.

I am gonna say this one time, and move on:

Yes I am fat. Yes I am 1/2 toothless. Yes I have personality flaws and defects...I am working on them. This does not make me less of a person, I LOVE who I am. I embrace my body. I may share all the memes I want about thick and curvy girls. That does not mean, I am unpacking and staying there. It means I love and embrace what I am dealing with right now! That just means I have FINALLY found a level of confidence where I can accept the me I am right now, today, and in the moment. Which is all I have to do. Tomorrow is another day to love me again, a little stronger and a little more fit every day.





This has been a fun week....I am on a 15 day streak of step goal, water goal, and mile goal. I have not eaten past 8:30 at all!! Out of a possible 56 dollars, I earned 55 dollars. The one I lost is because I had one day where I did not get 5 active minutes. It was after that day...I amped up and dance party every night!!

 I also had a confidence faltering moment this week:
I only lost about 1/2 a pound. Then I snapped the below picture since this is the half way point and yup, I was back in it!! This week had an NSV: I have reset my metabolism. I am still hungry, some nights I am excited I have heartburn so I can eat a few tums (sad, but it is not as bad as it was last week where I went looking for cough drops or tic tacs for my dry cough) BUT I wake up and am ready to eat in the morning instead of just coffee!!





This is the final week in phase one! Next week we bump to 5500 steps in a day and no eating after 8:20 and 110 ounces of water. I am slowly increasing all till I am not eating after 7:30, 170 ounces of water, and 10,000 steps.

So to sign off for this week, remember to stay humbly confident and we will dish next Friday! Next Friday I will be talking about couponing to pay for the healthy!