Choices I make...

 I have a confession, since the 20th of April, I had not made my morning coffee, meditation, and prayer a priority. In those two weeks I could feel a funk set in. I was going through the motions, but my mind and the weight between my ears kept getting heavier. My attitude and my person was becoming harder to keep positive. I made a choice to let things get in the way. I made the choice to fake it. I made the choice to allow something else to become important. I was resorting back to old ways. Not so much in eating, but in that anger and sadness.

 I could feel a shift and kept saying well I don't know. I was blaming up coming dates and things that I know I can control in a sense. I know the dates will come, but how I handle them is my choice. I know I have to feel them and not eat them...I know praying will get me through them, but will not make the days not happen, so how do I deal with it?










I get scared...I get diligent, I admit the struggle!!! Because this is what keeps me in that day and that moment and what  makes me stronger. I know that if I can get through this 24 hours, I can get through the next. I have three things that will get me trough it...

1. Faith
2. Support
3. Tools

I am embracing this challenge. Why? Because if I get through this one it is practice for the next one. With each challenge I face, I am learning to dance in the rain. I am learning to live my new normal. No amount of food, tears, anger, or begging will give me back my parents. Will give me back my life pre fibromyalgia. My life will never be the same...and in that I can find some comfort.








See the comfort I can find and the beauty I can find in the rain...growth. Spring Showers bring the flowers and the green green grass of new beginnings. This is true of my journey and my story. While there may be days I may be sad and cry a few tears...I will be okay. I will get through the hard and then....

I will choose to stand back up and fight! I am not a circumstances...I am a fighter. I know I have a long hard battle ahead of me...it is okay. You know why it is okay?  Because every single day is

Every single one of them is day one. I only get the 24 hours in front of me, tomorrow I start again. But then again tomorrow is today then right?

I had gotten away from this concept....but this morning I was knocked upside the head a few times! I was reminded....of a few things. So here is the deal moving forward....

This is my journey and my story. Don't like how I am doing things...that is okay, it is my journey not yours. I know I am walking the path God laid in front of me. Every step and every move I have made was made possible by Him and if it was not, He would have shut that door.

I am who I am, what I am...I am unapologetically me. This second year of recovery my theme has been not by my own strength, but by His grace. By the grace of God I have gotten this far and I will make it farther. Not just in my journey to fit and healthy but in discovering who I am!

This journey has taught me a lot about myself and wow...the key piece I have picked up. Being supportive does not mean giving advice. I have a lot of knowledge and a lot of research. Pick my brain, lets talk. I have data sets and missteps that turned into lessons. I can tell you what worked









for me but at the end of the day.....

 I say this because I know I am gonna keep doing me. I am gonna keep on keeping on with this path because it feels right! It is off the beaten path and in doing so, I learning more about me and who I am than I ever have! I also have learned a little madness is a necessity..

My normal may look like chaos to you, but I do know I am thriving in my current state of normalcy.















I have figured out how amazing life is!!! Every day I get to be who I want to be. I get to spend my time working on me and raising an amazingly smart beautiful little girl who is her Mama's mini too and through but has her father's heart. I get to be a wife to a man who picked me when I didn't even pick myself. He loved through my worst and is literally loved me till I could love me. I am not lucky, I am blessed. Every move I have made led me to here...and I wouldn't change a thing.

So as I wrap this up I want to leave you with one last thought on growth and blooming...

It is time we celebrate each other! Someones milestone or best day ever is theirs....it does not take away from your accomplishment to celebrate theirs. No matter if you both hit milestones on the same day...there is enough awesomeness to spread it around!

Till next time: