Sunday, August 20, 2023

Sit down, shut up, and don't touch anything

 Well, reset number 2,472 in the books. I want so bad to say that this happened or that happened...but in reality what had happened was I screwed it up again. I tried to touch something...ummm won't do that again. There have been some major changes in my life...I am writing this from a campsite in New York on my phone sitting outside in long sleeves in August. Yup, we have relocated!!! Let me tell you from mid February till about 2 weeks ago my life has been a whirlwind.

Now...let me 'splain this...in a video chat with the bestie and her wife it was decided that we needed to get out of the hotel and mini out of that broken school system. So the decision was made to put in notices at work, pack our life in an uhaul and push the reset button. Now I also want to point out here I was weighing in at 299 pounds and the stress was wearing me down. They came down on March 24th and by 7pm March 25th we were back in New York. By Easter mom had 2 jobs (both working around food) and kiddo had a new school. The end of April we moved into a camper and have spent the summer navigating the life with an 11 year old girl who was living the mean girls movie. Hubby has a job that he only works 3 overnights a week and brings in some decent money! In about a month we will essentially be moving into an air bnb for the winter and back into a camper for the second summer. 

It has not all been easy and smooth. There were some rocky moments and some times that I asked myself did we do the right thing??!!?? Then I stop and look around at all the space, the fresh air, the mountains and say yup! 

Here is a huge highlight...I hit 100 pounds lost!! I am rocking the 270's for now. I also got my rainbow hair (check IG for those pics)! Kiddo is starting to thrive and no she does not wear pink on Wednesday's! Hubby loves the job as well as I not only love both of mine...our coworkers are just better than yours! 

There has also been moments where I can think and have shifted my focus on where my priorities are. Because we are in a much much better place...physically and mentally I can shift my focus to another aspect of my health...financial. Scary!!! However there is a reason...House in 2 and wedding (vow renewal) in 3! So I started budget binders and as I learn more and more about it I will share more about my process and progress. 

Also in a moment of clarity in a rare quiet alone period at work I was reminded that at 6 years old I told everyone I wanted to be a writer. Well the only way to do that is to write and get my story out there! I have been doing things backwards. I have let everything happen to me, not for me. I have let everyone and everything come before me. I have let my head fill up so much all I want to do is shut it off and scream. Today it stops. I have cracks in my days that will allow for IG to become small posts and Sunday mornings I have an hour for me...the only way I fulfill a childhood dream is to write! So I am gonna write! 

2023 was about sitting down, shutting up, and touching nothing. I am keeping my hands and feet inside the ride till it comes to a complete stop. I am taking it all in and doing the work! I am becoming an active participant in my life! 2024 will be here before I know it and I have 4 and a half months to set things into place to truly make 2024 my year. By that I mean a true place to call home while we work on finding our forever home, getting my drivers license, and getting my teeth fixed. Also quit smoking this time for good! All big big things that I have plans to break down into smaller bite size pieces. 

I also am about to embark on a personal journey of self discovery. Thursday I start 12 weeks of one on one personal coaching. I am making an investment into me that will set a solid foundation for what comes next. For finally getting off a hamster wheel and living in a world of messy messy actions.

I am no longer playing the victim and making the fact that I won't take or make the time for me everyone else's problem. I am in control of my life. I am the only one who can write my story, I am the only one who can change my life and lifestyle. I am the only one responsible for me. I also have an 11 year old who is watching every move I make...this is where I make the true difference! This is where I put my money where my mouth is so to speak.

With all that said...it is time to start some actions and make my day off truly count! Things are not gonna take care of themselves so I am off to take care of them! 

Till next time scratch that till next week-

Audie

1 comment:

Writer as Defined by Me

  Been struggling with something for a bit and this is more about my perception of the statement not the actual meaning the other had behind...