Who am I? Who do I want to be

Who do I want to be is on my mind a lot lately. There is also an amount of why can't I just and why do I put a huge amount of pressure on myself to do all the things and then do none of them? Well...that is one of the reasons I am entering into the one on one coaching. 

I have big plans, goals, dreams, wants...but I get caught up in the neatness of it all. I get caught up in the end result forgetting all the work and changes and tweaks it will take me to get there. Then I get upset that I can't just "be" the person who does all of the things. But in reality...it is all a part of being human. As my Coach stated once before I am just a human being being human...Shinedown also touched on this on their song A symptom of being human (you should definitely give it a listen!). 

This past week has been one hell of a week. Yes, I am aware that it is Tuesday and a weekly wrap on a Tuesday is weird but here we are. But before we totally digress...it is has been a week of highs and lows and mental breakdowns. I hit 8 years food sober on the 23rd and hit with the reality I semi replaced food for shopping (ooff). I also have some clarity on all new things I am trying...it took me a few years to stop white knuckling around food...it is gonna take a minute to completely replace my shopping habits. I also had a moment of realization that I can not hate myself rich or into being a writer...simply can not. I have to make tweaks and changes to what I am doing to becoming who I want to be. With that said what did I do last week?

I also did manage to save some money. Was there a few impluse amazon purchases...nope there was 1!!! That is improvement! Did I stop smoking this week...again nope but I did smoke a few less. Did I journal every day and blog on Sunday...again nope. But I got a few days in and I am blogging today instead of waiting till Sunday...what all this is improvement. 

All these are steps into being who I want to be...I also can't wish myself rich or into being a writer. I have to do it. I have to take daily intentional actions to let my brain know it is okay to do the things. We are still safe and secure and that we will be better off for doing the things!!

Okay time to clock in at work!

Till Next Time-

Audie