Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I am facing down another SAD season. I am facing down another year that is marked by the parental units not being here...16 for Mom and 8 for Dad. This time of year, I normally white knuckle the shit and just pray I make it out alive. I can fix it in March...well about all of that. This week I had a scare that shook me to my core.
I love my life...it is crazy, chaotic, and I actually have more friends in real life then living in my pocket. I work with the most eclectic group of people in two locations that are so different from each other but at it's core, we are not just coworkers we are family. I love the life my husband and I are building and that baby I had when this blog started, well she is a beautiful teenager now. 13 years old...and I am probably still fucking it all up, but she is in therapy, so it is all good.
Back to the scare...Back in May, I fucked up and forgot about water. Life was so crazy...It just wasn't something I was trying to forget, it just happened. It caused some swelling and breakdown of the skin on my legs. From there I guess I developed two vascular ulcers. Then I had a spell at work where I almost passed out. This lead to Friday night in ER and all day Saturday at work.
All the tests came back clear, I am okay. I just have to deal with the wounds that healing, slowly and painfully. One of my bosses sat with me and my daughter got a scare as she watched me leave to go. Her tears and explaining she didn't want to lose me. My husband being upset that now all of sudden...
Seeing black and not hearing what is going on around you...that can bring things into perspective. So last night, this morning, I did some reflecting.
You know the biggest thing that resonated with me? For the first time in 16 YEARS, YEARS...I am celebrating the 14th of October instead of dreading it. I am taking it back. My book drops, that day will no longer be the day my mom died, it will be the day my first book came out.
So, why not use this year to do things differently. I mean they do say that summer bodies are built in the winter, so let's fucking build. The plan was that in two weeks now when I went on vacation, I would do a reset. Notice I said reset, not start over, not lifestyle overhaul, a reset. This is also because coming off vacation I am only working ONE job for the 1st time in over 2 years. 5 days a week, 2 days off a week...a way to really cement this way of life so come April, small tweaks will allow me to work two jobs and keep up with the way I live my life.
But, do I really need to wait? Do I really need a whole week off to make changes? Not exactly. So here is what is happening.
I am going back to my basics, back to what I know works for me. I have two weekends at the campground left and then I am done till April 2026. If I am packing food to take to the campground anyway, why can't it be the same stuff I am taking to work with me across the street?
So here is the plan...
Breakfast and Lunch is my low carb, keto like foods. And before anyone says a word...I am 100% fully aware that oats are not keto, but overnight oats are 100% better for me than a doughnut, just saying. I am also still utilizing I work in a very large charcuterie board for protein options, but adding in veggies and spreadable cheeses to dip said veggies and meat into.
Dinner, I will make swaps where I can, but for the most part, it will just be eating a smaller portion of what I feed the family. I am also making a few keto style desserts to fill in the gaps. Small, sustainable changes. Sunday will be prep day where everything is set up for the week.
My groceries are delivered and I can spend the say setting it all up for the week. This week I am making a few fluffs for deserts, 6 days worth of overnight oats (will throw one together on Wednesday for Sunday), adult lunchable boxes for quick grabs in the morning. My water bottle and the flavorings.
Full pause right here...Let's talk coffee...seriously, If you know me you know that cup will be pried from my hand. I also have switched to Chobani Creamer. I am gonna try there zero sugar one, but no promises. SO, yes those carbs stay.
Now, let's really break this down...all the changes above, they are sustainable. I can make them work. If I make plans on a Sunday, I can prep before or after. The oats are all the dry ingredients in the bowl and a quick add of the wet the night before, while I set up the coffee maker. The boxes are literally ready to go, I fix my water bottle and grab the box on my way out the door. I can write and enjoy my coffee, eat breakfast and get ready for work. I also will be adding in smoothies as we move through this process, but that is another goal for another day.
These 3 things, they are the next two weeks. No giving up smoking (yet), no I have to work out so many days, so many minutes (I will get to that part in a minute), just-meal prep to have breakfast and lunch in a way that works for me, fill a water bottle and grab a box toss in my bag, and when I want something sweet go for things that work for me.
On the workout front, remember the slow healing wounds on my legs? Yeah, they hurt, a lot. One is actually particularly killing me as it heals through the fucking muscle. A pleasant feeling if I do say so myself...insert sarcastic eyeroll here. They also have come from being on my feet too much, so I have to make a choice here. 1st let's get one thing straight and two things for certain...I miss the FUCK outta the gym. I miss picking up the heavy shit and putting it down. HOWEVER, if I don't fix this, it is gonna get worse, so new game plan!
I have a few things at my disposal. I have a weighted hula hoop, I set of small dumbbells, I have a chair workout program...I has options, LOTS of them! So I am keeping my gym memberships cause I am so coming back for them. But for the next month or more...till I get through this healing process...We are working out right here.
10 mins hoop, 10 mins dancing chair, and 10 mins chair dumbbell workout...looks like a workout to me! I will probably sneak a few in here and there, but I am not fully adding to the plan till after I have two weeks of the eating in place.
You know how they say that to get anything to work shut it off for a few seconds and turn it back on, you reboot it. The Thursday thing, we are calling it a reboot. That was my brain powering down for a few seconds and coming back online reminding me, we have done this before. We know what the fuck we are doing and how this works. But in order for it to happen, we have to do it. I can't stand in the mirror and wish for it.
It comes back to the book...I didn't wish to publish a book, I put the work in. I wrote it. Had it edited, reedited, reworked. Did all the things needed to produce the product I wanted. Same is about to happen with me. I know what to do, I just have to do it.
So, wrapping this up: I wrote a book it drops 10/14/25. I also am rebooting the lifestyle I want 9/28/2025. I will try and keep this up as a diary so to speak of the how the flip of the script happens this year. With this in place, I am kinda of excited for this winter with my second book in progress and my lifestyle rebooting!
Till Next Time,
Audie
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