17 days and counting!!

Hi my name is Audie, and I am a compulsive over eater. It has been 17 days since my last binge...and I feel great!!!

The above is a true statement. I sat down, I thought long and hard and I finally gave in and checked into OA, Over eaters Anonymous.  It was not an easy decision, my inner child went kicking and screaming...because there is now a list of foods, that I will never have again....but I will have a life where I truly smile and I am happy.

What I want to stress here is, I appreciate all the help, the support, and the suggestions!!! Everyone is amazing and it is so cool to have so many people rooting for me...but OA is not a diet plan, it is not a quick fix and quite honestly I will never leave the program....I will continually  apply these principals to my life to ensure that I am the best be that I can be...with that said let me fully explain what it is that I am doing...

• I have a list of abstinent foods or foods that I do not eat so I if I turn down an invite or something it is not because I do not want it, it is because I physically can not have the item. Having that item can trigger old behaviors I am trying to change.
• I spend time in meditation every day and working on a traditional 12 step process but my addiction is food...so I strive each day to eat for nourishment, not for acceptance.  
• I have a meal plan...3 meals and 3 snacks. My meal plan is not a "diet plan" it is something that I can live with. I am back to 80% clean and 20% not so clean. I can still eat things that we enjoy eating as a family...in moderation and on occasion. It is not something I will change for a time period, it is not something that I am willing to jeopardize since I am on week 2 and sticking with it. 
• I go to the occasional phone meeting and have joined a Facebook group for support and this is one of the first times I speaking completely openly with what I am doing. 

I am sharing this information so that people know what is really going on in my life...I am starting over and yes I am losing weight, but I am doing it in a way that my head and my heart is being helped first and foremost.  Getting those healed and figuring out what and why I started down this path of binge eating to feel better to begin with.

I am asking everyone to please be patient with me as I am new in recovery...I may have days that I white knuckle my "sobriety" and there will be days that it is easy...I also am still working on cutting out my smoking. All I can do is just for today, I am winning. I will worry about winning tomorrow, tomorrow....so time to change the sign off phrase....

Until next time...
Just for today!!