Friday, October 7, 2016

Today, I turn 4!

So today, blog post 131 marks four years since my very first entry...Dieting 2.0. Since then the blog has had 5332 views, many name changes, face lifts (one is coming today as it is fitting), and direction in writing changes. The current feel it has in what I am writing about seems to be the right fit.

It is an honest approach at life, dealing with a chronic illness, weight loss, and beating a food addiction. It also has a sprinkle of all things Mom, Wife, and Student.
For the first time in a long time, I am confident in who I am and what I stand for. It is also very humbling how many people read the blog. I went from 5 to 10 people reading an entry to consistently hitting in the 20's.  From the time I was young, I wanted to write. I wanted people to hear my voice and I wanted my writing to help people. I may not be helping, but I do share my story in hopes that it touches just one person who reads it.

 These past five years have not been easy...hell there were parts that were near exhausting. Through it all, I knew there had to be a bigger purpose...I knew that all of the hard times were not for nothing. I have been defeated many times, I have felt discouraged in things, and I even have given up a few times. In fact my recovery took three attempts to get it right. But every time I came back stronger!



Along the way I have met some amazing people. I have met some women that have been though so much, yet still fight there way back. I have three I am friends with from a fitness perspective, who inspire me to keep going due to them sharing there story. They also have shown me there are many different ways to meet my goal. There is no one clear cut path to the goal line.








This has become a daily mantra. As well as Philippians 4:13. Just a short time ago, I was not so rooted in faith and I was fighting my mind constantly. Since turning over it all, I can see and feel a difference. I now know what I can change, what I can't and that does include people.
In January, I said a prayer and turned it all over. Amazingly, my weight loss is one of the few things I did not pick back up! I just kept trucking along and I am seeing Him do miracles. Seriously, if he can work this miracle with my weight, what would He do in all aspects of my life if I just let it go!






The other plus that has come from my letting go is I am at peace with me. I no longer look at other women and WISH to look like them. I am happy with me, in the skin I am in as I WORK to look like them. I am uniquely me...flaws and all which brings me to the next point....
 In the past, I have ashamed due to the teeth being messed up. I was ashamed of my size, and I just did not like me. I felt as if I had nothing to offer so I will just hide in my house. I had so many character defects I was amazed my husband even still wanted me. How could he even love me? Well, when I came back to my roots and I dealt with my demons...as well as recommitting my life to God, I found grace. I found that God had not only been there all along, he blessed me with a soul mate that loved me through it, he loved me till I could love myself. The road to recovery not only saved my marriage, but it strengthened it!
 Because of that grace of God, I do know who I am, what I am called to do...and I can do it all because of the tools He gave me to get His work done. This blog, is just one of many I was blessed with!! 

See, as all of my character defects were taken, God replaced them with so much more. Who would not want to replace embarrassment, anger, resentment, and fear with humble confidence, happiness, friendliness, and encouragement? What He has planned for me is so much more than I could EVER imagine!



I  am happy to say, I finally have let go of the last of the fear of being a fit woman. There were insecurities...I have never been small, but I have always been me. I also no longer hear voices in my head that tell me I can't. I have a track history of beating the bad days 100% of the time. I do this because of the strength I get from following God and because I no longer give the past power over my life!
  As I enter year four with this adventure...will the name change again? Maybe...but not right now, because I am a spoiled Momma. My oils still play a huge part in my life, but my husband spoils me consistently as well! He thinks of me and remembers the little details. My God has plans laid out and all I can do is take it one day at a time.




So as I sign off, I am humbled by all who continue to read this, but I am courageously going to continue to share as each new chapter and experience adds to my story.  Thank you again for another amazing year and here is to 6000 views by Year 5!









Endings Suck, ummm Maybe?

 End is defined as the final part of something, and also has a verb definition of bring to a final point, finish something...finished is def...