In the past seven years I have had two losses that rocked me to core. The first was my mother. While our relationship was not always the best, we were the best of friends and to have just one more coffee break with her to catch up would be AMAZING!! But, as the poem says, I am who I am because she was who she was. There is not a day I do not miss her...specifically this time of year with mother's day coming up, but I have a new normal with how I live those precious days and how I honor her.
Then just a little over a year ago I lost a good friend that while I had not seen in years, we said our goodbyes in our way. He knew where my heart was at the end of it all! Well, last night I got my closure. Again, not over it, just a new normal. I think of him and smile. He was the voice of reason when I spun out in my 20's. He was the one that put a mic in my hand and says you got a gift...use it! He was the one that carried me through that fateful song and last night I picked up a mic and I rocked it out...one last time for him. He carried me through it one more time! I never have to butcher Cher at karaoke again and will stick with my country classics I know!
So, this leads to wisdom....This morning my reading was discussing how wisdom is not something we acquire over night. We do not have all the answers and God has all the answers if we just pause to listen to him. How often do we ask for help, for advice and then do the exact opposite of what we hear? We need to stop that!
So what is next in my pursuit of knowledge?? I am going to learn how to meal prep. Husband is going to be gone for a few weeks so I am gonna branch out. One of the reasons I did the current no junk food challenge, was to see if I was that far into my recovery that I could lean on the Lord, or my HP, and get through without crazy binging...with 8 days left I am pretty sure I got this! Well, WE got this. God brought me to it and through it and I did not kill anyone even when I was in a state of Hangry.
Which brings me to here...I am finally rooted deeply in my faith, with my family, and my friendships....I am finally becoming who I really am, and I gotta say, I am love with the life I am living. When I turned this life over and said where You lead I will follow...When I said You are in control...things changed. I am finally growing up. At almost 40, I realize I am a grown up who is very young at heart! I have a mini who keeps it that way!!
So this week I finish this phase and on the 3rd I am kicking off an actual Beachbody program for my health and I am on a mission that I will explain next blog but for now leaving you with this teaser...
Just for today, I pray that His presences shines through me so that others may know that I know Him!