Yup that is where I am at. I know I want something, I know I have a goal, but yet I feel like I am still sampling things, you know the getting up and checking the fridge 20 times an hour, opening the door expecting some thing different to be there. So let me give you a bit of a run down on life since we last talked at the end of July...
Work started to get real crazy, the summer program ended, and well...I needed to refocus and recenter. So around the end of July, I made a decision to take a step back from trying to force a workout, from trying to make it all work, and from trying to slip back into that resentful angry mindset I was literally running from. With that I said that is it, time to bring it back to that very beginning moment of 2015 when I hot rock bottom and started owning up to my addiction and making changes. I needed to go back to just for today and one day at a time. I started, the #justfortodayproject. I started by posting just a blurb on Facebook, then I did a blurb on Facebook and Instagram. Then it was just on one and shared to the other...but with each post I noticed I was getting more and more focused and my mindset shifted and I became committed and BOOM I HAD CONSISTENCY!!!
I knew that I had to make that shift, I had to get real serious about what I wanted because life was going on. I lost my bonus Dad mid August, and October is coming. I knew if I did not cement something in place, I was going to fall off in October and come Feburary, I would be once again, be losing the same 20 pounds or 10 inches I lose the first half of every year. I got serious on my spiritual relationship and I did a lot of praying, praise and worship music, and I said quite literally and meant it from every fiber of my being....
I started feeling like something big was coming around Mid August, this was after I knew my Coach was being filmed in Proving Ground and was the modifier. I knew that I wanted to do it, but I also felt something else was brewing. I added in water mid month, and I dug deep into coaching, I kept doing the work and showing up in the mental health posts. I did it not for anyone else but me...I started gaining new followers on IG, and I think I may have a legit celebrity following me...but that is a whole other blog....before I digress...
SO here I am at the end of August, I am doing that doggy butt wiggle, you know the one where they can see the treat in your hand and they are sitting waiting on you to drop it...yeah that is how I am waiting on the Universe and God to finally reveal what this big big thing is.
Like I am stronger in my mental health than ever..I am setting boundaries, I am deflecting negative energy, I am ninja kicking the hell out of feeling like a rat on a wheel and in it I am finally let in on the big plan....ready for this?
I started Liift4 on September 3rd. I went from barely moving...you know a few walks here and there, work life and such to lifting and doing workouts 4 days a week. Now, let me also mention things are not easy peasy at work, I am in my last weeks of school so the struggle to focus there is REAL and I had to put my kiddo back in to the school routine...old me would have said yeah...there is just too much going on. I will start on the 18th of September.
Umm, yeah old me got an eviction notice...she was told to take a seat way over there...like serious Mean Girls, you can't sit here kinda stuff going on in my head....
On the 3rd, I started the program, life has happened and Dude, I am sore, I am 6 work outs in and I have such a sense of accomplishment right now getting that workout done is a challenge. While I no longer focus on the chronic illnesses, they are still there and this Hurricane and the crazy and just the stress of life has me feeling like I am crammed in a box. I have every reason to take an extra rest day or even move around the workouts...but I didn't.
Since starting this on Tuesday, I got my voice heard, finished week 2 of Liift 4 and I am wrapping this up today to post and I am spending the day in reclaiming the house from the chaos of the past few weeks as well as focusing on some school work so that I go back to Monday with all my school work done (as in I am finishing my Bachelors Degree this weekend...OMG!!!) and all the physical noise and clutter as well as the mental cleared. Sometimes it is necessary to take a step back to get that forward momentum going.
As I am bringing this to a close, I know I end everyone of these with a promise of not so long between entries and this is a new goal...three years I keep saying I am not falling off Sept-Feb and coming back strong in March...Well, I have a new plan, a new goal and something worth fighting for this year...I have a choice to make. I can keep repeating the same pattern over and over again, or I can try this new thing and I am going to try this new thing. Much like this blog has evolved over the past 6 years (YES 6 YEARS IN OCT!!!) I have started leveling up in my thinking and this year I fight like never before.Leaving you with this final thought, I know I have shared the below image before, but this time I share it in a different light....
Stay tuned as I figure out who I am!!!!
Till next time,
