My story...

 So today is day one...again. I know I touched briefly on it before, but today I want to go a bit more in-depth with my story, so people have a better understanding of why I reset the clock.
I was doing great, and then life started feeling GREAT! I was out and about and I was doing so many new things I thought I had a handle on things...

 I was not starting to slip into my normal black hole during this time of the year. I was making plans to celebrate my Mom's birthday....but I was slowly letting old habits return to balance out the busy.
It started with little things, all day on computer, a late night snack...then it was well I am doing so good, a small treat won't hurt...I am not a dog, food is not a treat!! Then well we are busy and the kitchen is a mess, or I forgot to take something out for dinner...let's just grab something. Then the soda was  back in and before I knew I was eating a Reese pie slice...not a whole one, but Reese is on the no fly list. The only thing on the no fly list I have not touched is Doritos. And there was a voice somewhere I stiffled with spinach saying well you blew all the rest a bag is not gonna kill you...um yes, yes it will.

 Now again, I have not started smoking again, I am working on switching to half-caff coffee...but have to cut back on the Starbucks again...their Frapp's are evil!!!

But starting today...day 1, I am sticking to a meal plan of 3 and 2. Three meals and 2 snacks a day, no eating after 8:30, at least 80 ozs of water and no more then 2 soda's as wean that back out again. I am doing this because I want to honor myself and I want to get back to where I was. I am tired of starting over, but this time I am not so frustrated as I usually am.  One of the main reasons is because I am worth starting over. I am worth fixing what happened.

 I am gonna spend some time planning this afternoon after I do some house work on meals for the week. I am gonna spend some time on working on portion control again and eating smaller more correct portions...just because I was only eating three meals doesn't mean I was not over eating if I am eating double/triple portions.

I am also gonna spend some time figuring out patterns of slippage, when I want the no fly list foods, and why I always have to start over. I was doing great and some would say well you don't have to start over. No I do not, but if I am being honest...yes I do. I let it all go but one food. Even the times I was eating.

 I am following the principal of might makes right or right makes might...I found both on Bing. I am making the changes to follow the steps to make things right...and I might succeed this time (hahahaha...just a little joke.) See my plan was I was going to be able to sponsor in October and a few people say a year at least before you are ready...My HP said slow down, I didn't listen, so he slowed me down. God's plan is for me not to sponsor just yet. I have a full plate and I am trying to cram more on.

So God said, you won't slow down, let me open your eyes, just like I did with Paul and wow!! The things I seen. I have a lot of personal work to do before I help someone else.

 I have things to accomplish in my own life before I can take on a new hat. I have a few I am balancing and I was letting a few things slip as is. Not just abstinence, but house, school, and Mom. I need to work on potty training and doing basic chores with my three year old...apparently they don't teach themselves. But I also know that I have more connections to make in my own life before I can help someone else have their own AHA moment.

 So here is where we are in my story so far,
1. Starting Over
2. More self care
3. to be a better mom and wife
4. clear some of the must do's off plate before adding....








                                                                                         To do that I need to:

                                                                      

1) Plan, Plan, and when I am tired of it..plan some more!
2) Spend my time in meditations again
 3) Meetings at least once a week (Think Monday and Possibly Wednesday but def. Monday )
4) Check in daily in group and blog as often as I can!!










SO to wrap this up:
For today I am recommitting myself to the why I started and remembering I am powerless to food and only with help from a higher power, in my case God can I stay the course!!

Might be a sign to figure in Zumba once a week and more Abbie Mommy Dance Parties!!!