Shinedown, Patience, Insanity, Slumps/Setbacks, and Self worth....

OKay, what in the sam hell do these 5 things have in common?? On the surface, it looks like a jumbled up mess of chaos...OH chaos, I love it and thrive in it, but slow down, this is not a chaos cloud (Thank you Coach Tulin), it is the current state of where I am headed in my journey.

They called us crazy 'cause we never fit in
We never thought of keeping up with their trends
It didn't matter that we weren't on the list
'Cause we were misfits, we were misfits

And after all, we never played by the rules
We broke the mold and found our own kind of cool
It didn't matter that we weren't on the list
'Cause we were misfits, we were misfits-Shinedown "Misfits"

These were the words swirling in my head this morning as I started my morning routine. I at the time could not understand why of all the songs that I know this was what was my brain was thinking. So, I went with it. I plugged in the headphones and pulled up the song. Got the coffee (I mean really how can I have a coffee moment with it?) fed the cat and sat down to the morning reading. The very first thing I read was about patience and perseverance.
Okay, still not clear about the song, but I know that these two "P" words are ones that I still sometimes struggle with. But, this morning there was a line that really stuck...Patience breeds consistency. OHHHH wait, I struggle with that word...A LOT. I am a very inconsistent person, well wait I was. That is a huge part of this current season of work in progress mode. So I kept reading...

Insanity...when I tried to do it alone, I was in a cycle of insanity. Lose, get a routine in place, fall off, gain it all back, start again. When I started turning this over to God (one of my understanding) when I accepted the hand up offered by Coach Tulin when I really engage and interact with my #fitfam...I found sanity. I found confidence and I started making my own decisions without input from the internet. Now, I am a married woman so of course, I did talk things over with my husband, but the ultimate decision on how to move forward is mine...I broke the cycle of insanity. At home, at work, in my writing projects...school, fitness...all of it I made one small change and started seeing different results!! #mindblown


From there I was hit with words of wisdom about slumps and setbacks...Yes, I am currently not in a slump or a setback, but I am in the middle of a comeback from one. This comeback typically does not start to happen until around March/April after I gained back all the weight I lost from January-October, till I am stuck on the couch, and in such a deep depression a two-ton tow truck could not pull me out.  Check the date Y'all...I am 37 days into a relaunch of a project that has become a passion project for me. #justfortodayproject has me fueled and ready to keep not only my recovery front and center, but my little pocket of the world to share my story.  I am in my comeback a few months ahead of schedule and I can do this because I broke the cycle of insanity, I use my skills, tools, and action plans...all stemming from a band of misfits that I call friends, family, and of course my #fitfam. Which brings me to self-worth...

If there is one thing I have learned over this past almost 2 years working with Coach Tulin and in the past 3 years, 5 months, and 13 days that I have been in recovery, I am worth it. I have self-worth and I am enough. I don't have to rely on anyone, include myself, for strength except for God, God has me! I do not need to carry around the burden of proof...I don't need that weight between my ears...I know I am enough because of well...back to the key verse and word for the year...

I will have pressure come, I will have setbacks, I will have slumps, I will have moments of a two-year-old, I don't wanna tantrums. But I will not stop. I may be hard pressed, but I will not be destroyed.

I will be transformed...not overnight but little by little one day, one choice, one moment at a time.


So, back to Shinedown and the song stuck in my head this morning...I belong to an amazing group of misfits. I have a group that never played by the rules, we broke the trends, we were never on the list and we created our own kind of cool. This is something I have always done from the moment I stepped off the bus in Madison Heights, VA and met my first and forever band of misfits that just got me, without truly trying to and while this group of misfits has grown, shifted, and become friends that live in my computer as well as in real time, I have always found my happy place. I have always known who I was and I have always been in a position to grow and change without anyone accusing me of being "different or funny". My band of misfits has bloomed, but they are still there rooting for me and in that, I know who I am and I am enough.



Till next time y'all!!!
Audie