So what now? Do I let this go?? Um no! What happened is this...I found my 2018 Theme Songs...Sorry Not Sorry (Demi Levato) and This is Me (from the Greatest Showman). The reasoning. Well see yesterday I was supposed to start the hardest thing I have ever done in my life for my health. I was supposed to start 80 Day Obsession. I was ready! I had my plans laid out, have permission to eat on the timed nutrition plan as needed at work, bought the lunchbox to take all the necessary food with me, had everything done on paper....then I realized in the chaos of my life I forgot an important step. My workout area still is full of Christmas, laundry, school needs. I forgot to do the physical work needed to get into the swing of what I was doing. So it showed me, I am need of setting up some boundaries and making some major changes.
See the thing with the 80 day is with the workouts and life I have to be up SUPER EARLY! I also have to eat at certain times. This program is about to give me more than a banging booty, it is about to give me something I have searched for and strived to get since I started this journey in October of 2012 and restarted in August of 2015....it is about to turn my life into routine and give me MORE free time. Yes, you read that right. I am going to be on a schedule that is going to require I work out, eat at certain times. So while I am eating breakfast and digesting and drinking the preworkout, I can get in my me time with God and Planning my day. My personal development. Then by the time I get my kiddo up I am showered and dressed for the day....wait what? The queen of NOT A MORNING PERSON will be ready for her day no later than 7:30 AM????
This means more time to get stuff done on days off..I may even be able to lunch or coffee more often! School work...no prob, housework...no prob, have to work....I got this!
I also am feeling a shift in personality, this is where the songs come in. I am no longer gonna worry about how am I gonna fit it all in, I am simply gonna get it done and I am doing this by setting boundaries...saying no when I need to. This is where Sorry Not Sorry comes in....I am going to get real selfish and intentional with my time and making my time to self care and to accomplish Mom Life just as important as time for work and school. I am going to learn to use the word No and mean it, without feeling GUILTY! I am finding my voice...I may get a little savage about things...I may also get a little petty....Sorry, Not Sorry...this is the year it ALL COMES TOGETHER! This is the year I graduate college, this is the year I finally figure out who I AM outside of being a student, a mom, a wife, part of a management team....I want to figure out just who Audie is and not have it depending on labels doctors have been kind enough to give me either.
So that brings me to this is Me....
Last year I found my confidence, my voice started coming back....all the scars I was ashamed of, all the struggles I faced, the emotions, the ups and downs I used to hide...it is part of me, it is part of my story, I mean I have a story that would blow people away. I was told twice yesterday I was lying about a before picture that it was never me. Sure cause everyone lies and uses random before pics of themselves at 350+ pounds...about that! So time to wrap this up, get some housework handled before work! 2 shifts and I am home for 3 days to make up for lost time and really do ALL the prepwork and start 80 day Jan 22nd! Stay tuned for that starting blog and with all the extra time and being intentional I will do a wrap up for each of the weeks! Pics at start, mid, and end!
Till next time,
Audie
