See here is what happened in a word...life. I am a mom, I work part/full time depending on the week and the needs of the business. I also am trying to get healthy (not lose weight to much anymore, that is a side effect and I will explain more later on that), finish school (Sept 2018 Baby!!), raise an awesome five year old, be the support and team mate my husband needs, and still add in some coffee/lunch date with friends when I can. Did you get all that? Can make a person's head spin....and I do this fighting chronic conditions.
I also got to thinking about my blog and since I was not really dieting and focusing on weight loss to much anymore I thought well I guess I don't really have a weekly post/topic to write about. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was wrong. So I am looking to reformat a bit in what I write about. I am looking to be a little more open and transparent on what all this really means while battling fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, PCOS, depression, and realizing late in life...a dash of anxiety. So grab a cup of coffee
and let's catch up!
I am still a little camera shy so doing videos and lives are a little outside of my comfort zone yet, but I will be getting a little uncomfortable and adding them in soon. For now, I want to let you in on a few thoughts and even a few rants in my head.
I am starting with the rant, cause well those that know me know I love to go off on a tangent here and there....so here is what is grinding my gears here lately....
It took me the last few years to get this right here. I am pretty, I have curves, and I am a big girl (I had that part down, but for some reason that was the only part that stuck...I was fat). I struggled with finding my voice, I constantly let my mind wander and in turn created awkward social situations that frankly did not exist... all of this came from the thought that society says I have to look, act, say....to fit in. What if I did not want to fit in? Because honestly I do not want to fit into society right now.
I also have been in thought about my years of overindulging, binge eating, the excuses for excuses, and the reasons why I could not....let me tell you something...my revelation was this:
I am pretty, but my years of living on the couch, consuming 4000 plus calories (give or take a few), letting medical professionals dictate what I could do with my body....none of it was cute. There is no spin that can be put on that to make it sexy...I was hurting myself in the worst possible way as well as the family and friends around me. This revelation came from listening to the words of my coach and having the biggest light bulb/aha moment ever. I don't want to be just pretty though..I want to be fit and badass. So this where the next thought process took me...
I had to get my home life decluttered and in a routine so that I could get my fitness, school, and work schedule into a routine. I am almost there. I have a three day weekend coming up this weekend and I plan to use the time to cement a schedule and a routine for me and my family. I know I have said it before...but I also have tried to fly by night for the last three months and that lead to burnout so new plan...I am including the two pins I am using to make this happen.
So here is first plan of action....I am blocking a time on Sunday, probably around 7:00 am on Sunday to blog about my week, the successes from the week before, the plans and goals of the upcoming week, and how the new routine is going....now why do y'all care about this? Why am I sharing this?
Because I am no longer interested in just talking about weight loss, I am truly over trying to lose weight I have been writing about it or subtopics of it for FIVE years...it is time to move past it. Yes, I finally lost that 100 pounds, I still have more to go, but there is so much more to me than what the scale says and how I got it to move. Because it only started moving when I stopped watching for it too or begging it too. Now, with the Coaching and the changes I am making...I am still sharing about my journey and I will share some monthly scaled victories...but I really want to get back to what I love....just writing.
I want to help out that person whose doctor just told them you have a chronic condition and your life will never be the same. You know why? Because yes, my life will never be what it was on that day when I was 26, but without those words....I would not have pushed to be where I am today!
So till next time,
