Setting the Goals (Part 3 of 4)

 

This image came across my newsfeed a few days ago, and it spoke to me so much. It was the perfect way to start part 3 of 4, so I borrowed it. 

See, about 15 years ago, at age 25, I set my last new years resolution. That resolution was never to set another one. Instead, I started setting goals. In the past few years, do I really focus on setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) goals. What this means is I can track my progress. I can see if I am making it or not. This year I made hella progress on many little goals that lead to my bigger goal of getting fit and healthy. I invested in a tool that helped me with the blog, and I invested in myself building a small home/apartment-friendly gym. 

This year I can say that I changed mentally and physically. I started the year at 306.9 pounds with 54.4% body fat and a BMI of 53. I gained the covid 20, and by June, I weighed in at 328.6 pounds and 57.4% (BMI hit 56.8). As of Christmas Eve, I am down to 291.1, and 50.8% body fat and BMI back down to 50.3. 

My confidence has skyrocketed, and I am rocking selfies almost daily. I am also on the verge of truly joining Tik Tok and not just a bystander/supporter of those on the app. I am dressing my size and not hiding behind clothes that are 2-3 sizes too big. I worked hard for the current shape I have, and I am no longer hiding to make others feel comfortable. 

The above statements scare the f'outta me! Like seriously, they are way outside of my comfort zone. I am cool posting photo's. I am totally on board with sharing my journey-I mean; I have been writing about it for the last 8 years (HOLY CRAP!!). But putting out a video...Ummm, yeah, that scares me a bit, but it is also exciting to me. It is exciting because I have the confidence to do something in public for the first time in a long time that may or may not get me noticed. I used to karaoke almost every night of the week, and doing this is about the closest I will ever come to that again-I am seriously too old for that mess anymore. I need 7-10 business days to recover from a night out. 

So as I sit here contemplating it all, a question comes to mind...WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? The answer is currently NOTHING! Let me repeat this... I have nothing to lose by doing this for my journey. I am no longer interested in losing weight. See, when you lose something, you tend to find it. Much like every year, find some or all of the 50-60 pounds I have lost on this 5 year plus journey. So, I did not lose 33.7 pounds; I dropped, shed, removed...whatever you want to look at it-them bitches are gone and not coming back. 

This year I also hit 100+ plus yes. Fit races completed with my outside races. I am now at 112 virtual races completed! My new goal is to hit 150, yes. Fit and add in a few outsides to help bring the total closer to 175; if not, hit that number by the end of 2021! 

I also have the goal of hitting 10,000 blog views. I can only do this by growing and finding all avenues to share. I am also going to be changing it up a bit next year. I am not just writing about the fitness journey. I am writing about being a Mom, wife, grad student...learning to create a balance as I move into a full-time career one interview at a time while being in retail management. I am tired of trying to compartmentalize my life...my life is organized chaos, and all of it, from chronic conditions to being married, impacts that journey, so I am done trying to hide it. 

This mindset is one that took years...yes, YEARS to not only find but adhere to. I am proud of all the applications and actions I took on my coaching this year. I found a WOE (way of eating) that does not trigger my food addiction/ed behavior. I found a solution to my fibro fog, but that is the next blog (hint, it is not found in a drug store or a doctor's office). I have adopted a new mindset. Life is about every choice we make. From the time our feet hit the floor in the morning, every one of our decisions till we lay our heads down at night. So, my way of surviving this crazy chaotic thing that is my life. I am simplifying things (some of the decisions are no longer in my hands-this will be explained in the next blog, too); all I have to do is make sure my next decision is better than my last one. By simplifying this process, I no longer make to-do lists that are 3 days long. I don't over complicate the WOE; I do not feel like I have to do this one workout all the way through as long as I intentionally move my body; then, Dude, I did a workout that day. 

Another thing this year taught me, specifically with all the time at home where I was like, oh, I will get to it...stop putting it off. A task is only daunting if you allow it to be. There were so many things I had a plan for quarantine that did not get accomplished because I was not motivated to handle it. As we moved in the last half of the 5 years of 2020, I learned a new trick-discipline. I am still working on it as not every day is perfect, but every day has some perfect moments. I have spent the last month tweaking plans and daily routines to find the one that works the best for me when school resumes the week of Jan 4th for mini and me. By practicing and playing with the choices and the options, I am creating a balance of work, play, time for me and ensuring that my mental health remains at the forefront of every choice. 

Wrapping this up, 2021 is not about a new year, new me attitude. It is about MAXIMIZING on the amazing progress of the back half. Specifically, the last month of 2020 has brought me. It is about keeping one foot outside of a comfort zone and getting truly comfortable being uncomfortable. It is about having FUN and getting fit and healthy in progress! It is about using the tools in front of me and not chasing new and shiny till I have used the current ones. It is about being accountable to me and doing the next right thing to get me to where I want to be. 

So y'all, the chaos calls-till next time, 

Audie! 

When fitness went to hell and the road back (2020 Wrap Up part 2)

 This right here sums up what had happened was with my fitness in 2020. I honestly did say f'it. I tried to train for a marathon, my mind and heart were not in it, so I stopped. Then I thought, well, why don't we just focus on what I eat...well, I did focus on it, but it was not in the traditional sense, I think I really got to fitness' this food into my mouth. 

I also thought I was gonna hit 2020 miles in 2020, yeah I could say I only got (to date and more year so will update at the very end...) 1131.7 miles....ONLY??!!?? Dude, you do remember for 3 months they told us to stay the f' home! 

Now is the point in the writing that I can continue to tell you all the things that didn't work and fill you will all the reasons  (read that as excuses)....or I can own my 'ish and be my authentic self tell you that I learned a lot this year and tell you what went well, what I tweaked, and what I learned is not for me! 

This year started rough with losing a job and then a pandemic; I went from working full time to not at all. It was great for my school work, and the slow down was much appreciated. But there was a mental shift that I had to work around, specifically going back to retail management, more specific the same position I left to take the lost job on top of finally cracking because I took on too much as I went into the fall. I literally forget who I was and what I can accomplish. 

I had a break down because everything I did had the word work in it. Housework, homework, schoolwork, work out, work work...I could not escape WORK... So except for the one that paid my rent, I kinda stopped doing all other work. 

Now, yes, I did find a healthy way of eating in August that helped...I started a modified to fit for me dirty, lazy keto. I am not fully keto; I am not entirely eating plan except for the Audie plan. The one that serves me, I eat foods that fuel in smaller portions, or I will modify the family meal with separate side dishes. I am celebrating 5 years binge free, so I am mindful of being too restrictive while staying within what works for me. But best believe if bitch wants a Reeses, bitch has a Reeses. This also helped me when I started the return to the main road from the detour I took. 

I am also 99% positive the return to retail in June really saved me from me...that was 4-5 days a week that was guaranteed movement. There was also an excuse to eat out...I mean, I could still get Mcdonald's without the bun and ketchup, and that was ok. But was it? Yes, it was. Even though the movement was small and pretty much only if I was working or the little bit I did on my downtime, even though it was still fast food or take out, I was taking action to move and be mindful of what I was eating. I was cognizant of the choices I was making! Being mindful is a way to begin to take action. I saw results, but mentally, I was getting worse. I reached a breaking point that was a crossroads that led to where I am sitting right now. 

Because even as unintentional the movement and as weird as the choices, I saw something...I was being consistent in making at least one right choice for that day. So much so...I am celebrating a drop of 34 pounds since June; 5 pounds of that is the visceral fat around the organs, 5.7% body fat dropped, and I have lost 12 inches. All of this excites me...because I did not really put any effort into this. I did no crazy challenge, I did not follow a fantastic nutritional plan, I did not have a routine or a plan...I did this in complete and utter chaos in my head, environment, and schedule. (seriously...how many times can they tell us the kids are going back to school and say psych!) I also have completed over 100 yes.fit races add in my others, and I am approaching 125 virtual races completed...um, if I can commit to this, I can achieve more.  

So when I sat back and reflected on this...I realized that I was not making the progress I wanted in fitness and nutrition because I overcomplicated it. I had to have a workout plan, a nutrition plan, and if I could not get those foods welp, I guess it is pointless to do the workout because I am not eating that way. Dude, I was self-sabotaging, so I dug deeper and realized I was still afraid of losing weight. 

Yup...in a nutshell, fear was holding me back and keeping me stagnant. I thought I had dealt with that, but it must have snuck back in when I was not looking, so I cast that out again and decided that moving forward...I needed to rely on the old KISS method.

So, I simplified things. Nutrition-wise, following my current eating plan, I eat low carbish with simple substitutions or omissions when necessary. I also am striving to eat 3 meals a day that I don't necessarily cook and are not takeout but will get into installment 3. 

When it comes to fitness...well, here is how simple I am going...I have to move my body intentionally for 30 mins. It could be yoga, it could be walking (in place on my sand dune), dancing, an actual work out, or a combination of some of the above. I also have ensured I am getting at least 48 ounces of plain water...not bean water, not sparkling, not flavored...just right old fashion turn on the tap and fill a glass of water a day.  If these three simplified tasks can get me this kind of results in a season that I usually throw in the towel and just start over in March, what happens if I keep going on this path until March?

That is actually what we are going to find out...together. As I move into 2021, I plan to maximize what I accomplished in 2019 & 2020. To do that, I will continue what I have started to keep moving forward for the first time in my adult life...

As I move forward and start to wrap up this installment, I also want to point out that I do not have a goal weight...

Yup, you read that right...NO GOAL WEIGHT! I have an ideal body structure and look I would like to have, but I have never been smaller than a size 18 in my adult after kid bearing life...I don't honestly know what that looks like. So I am just going to run with this, embrace the changes and shifts as they come! 

I want to end this one with this...I am not one to shy away from a challenge, and after spending the last five years focused on getting to the roots of issues and healing mental issues and traumas, I can say I am seeing clearly for the first time in a long time. I feel strong and focused, and having my freak out 3 days before Thanksgiving this year was a game-changer that led me here. 

I know what I have said over and over, so much, so I know that I have many that don't believe me. But this year feels different, and there is a different approach than I have previously taken. So to those that doubt me or say I can't (in the say I can't, there are even some medical professionals), just watch me. My excitement for the changes I am seeing is finally more prominent than my fear, and the only way to conquer the fear is to do the thing I am afraid of...

More to come on this in the 4th installment, but next time we talk about an introduction of something that pretty much saved me from me thanks to my husband...again (He really is going to think I am some weird damsel in distress here soon!). 

Till next time, 

Audie!