2018 in Review and setting up for 2019.

2018 was a year man...what a year. I started back at square one. I started in a place of just sheer anger and feeling as if I no longer knew what I was doing. I knew that I was in a good place with my recovery, but everything else was not in place and I fought depression until around March 1st. I mean I left my Christmas Tree up till Saint Patrick's day...I refuse to do that in 2019. I also am in a better headspace
. Now, I want to take a minute and let y'all know what has been going on since November 11th when I was ready to take on the end of the year active and on track...with no other way to truly explain it...

Work got crazy, the second job-ish was not as easy to do as I thought and I slowly fell off. I pulled up my readers for the first time since November 20th today. Now, I also figured out that I finally had a year that all the weight I lost I did not put back on. I did not lose more, but I maintained. I have learned this makes it easier to dust off and get back up again when you are not starting over but yet picking up where you left off. Which in this instance, for those that have followed me on this crazy journey, started in 2012 when I posted the very first blog, it is progress!!! I also learned something new about me at the end of the year, when things got tough, and the pressure was on, I avoided things by blaming work and diving in not paying attention to how much of myself I was losing.  I was short with family and friends, I even let it get in my head about my relationship...yeah this is not me I like, so I am going to work on this defect in the coming year but,   HOLY WOW!!!!! There has been progressing and growth, strength....change...all in 365 days that I truly never thought possible. When I started this year, I was in a mindset of this is me.

 And honestly I can say, I have stayed here...I have found my voice, I have also come to terms with the fact, I will always be a whirlwind of organized chaos, I will make plans to break them when it is too people-y out. I am brash and sometimes too blunt. I am also worth it, and in the words of P!NK... I AM HERE!!!!

















So this leads me to 2019...I have a word and bible verse all set and ready to put in places I will see them every day....the bible verse

This verse leads to the word of 2019...Diamond. See diamonds are formed when they are pressed so...this year when the pressure is on. When it feels like I am pressed when I am down, and when I feel like it is too heavy...I will remember that God is making a Diamond out of me. As another reminder, I found this one too,

It will not happen overnight, I will have to put in the work daily, I will have to lean on God as the year is gonna be a tough one. Dual Masters program kicks off, 39 by years end...8 years of marriage, Mom to a spunky 7-year-old. I am also in a transition mode. I have things in motion for 365 days of moving on purpose. I have audible and books lined up. I am also going for 365 of journaling and posting. Back to basics with the blog. And I am putting together a list of workouts I want to complete. I am going back to LIIFT4 first, I loved that one and then will figure it out from there. I know it will not be easy. I know I have some big goals...but I also know just by looking back at the last six months, I am ready to take this on. I am not doing it alone...I have a whole fit fam and support system and honestly...I am ready to see what I look like as a fit badass...The inside is really starting to feel that way, so why not make the outside match?



Time to get this day moving.

Signing off-
Unapologetically, caffeinated, beautifully chaotic Me!!!!