As a writer I know that titles need to be catchy but this is not just a catchy title. I was at work the other day and had an epiphany while making an over easy egg. I was actually giggling as it circled through my head, if my coworkers did not think I was crazy before, they really did in that moment, now to let y'all in on the joke.
I need to preface this whole thing with prior to working where I do now, I made eggs one of two ways-they were scrambled or fried. Ironically, much of how I lived my life. Scrambled would be the chaos that I seemed to thrive in and fried is how I felt after dealing with all that chaos that was my life. Well shit, when I look at it this way, no wonder I can't make an over medium egg, let alone an over easy egg-I don't know how to do anything easy.
Then the other day, I made these beautiful over easy eggs, with double yolks at that! Then some perfect over medium eggs...but wait I can't do this or can I? Can it really be this easy...well, it was not easy. There were a lot of broken eggs, yolks, and eggshells in a few eggs to get to that moment. It was right there I realized something-I am subject to change! I no longer had to believe old stories, old wiring that this brain had, self-perceptions based on things people said to me and about me no longer had power over me! I can remove a few key words from my vocabulary when I am talking about me-I will always and I will never...eggs showed me in that moment I can show up for me and do the work I need to in order to be the me I want to be. The old self-perceptions that had me trapped in a loop are starting to fall away and new ways of self-nurturing and self acceptance are starting to seep in.
The work that went into the eggs pointed out something that blew my mind...I am cool with repetition or even hard work-if it not is not related to me personally. I will do repetitive tasks that do not link back to things I don't wanna do-see my love for coffee and my on repeat play list for proof on that one, and I work hard for everyone but me. I work hard at hardly working for myself a lot. That was the first time, when I flipped that egg onto the plate, that the words my coach had used about repetition and showing up for myself really made full sense.
If I was willing to put all that work into making an over easy egg-what was possible if I put that same effort into me? I mean it was not like I spent all day every day making eggs to get better at it, I was just practicing when the situation arose. I never knew when it would happen-many days it really is all about the fried and the scambled. Those are the days that if all I did was breathe-it was okay. See, in those days I had faith that if I needed to do an over easy egg, I would give it my all, because I was putting in the work and practicing every chance I got. I was tapping into the power that I had in me all the time, it was just under a whole lot of doubt and disbelief that I could change.
As I wrap this up, everything I want out of life will take time, practice, and repetition. It will take dedication, commitment, and consistency as well, but that is so another blog. I needed to start with the time, practice, an the repetition. See, not to long ago, just eight short years ago, I practiced repeatedly stuffing my face. Now, I am using the time to actually face the stuff that for so long has held me back from being who I want to be!
Till Next Time-
Audie
