(Disclaimer: This message was solidified in a coaching call this week and all of the above can be found in the Fit Has No Size coaching I am in. The coaching is becoming a part of my everyday language so much that I can not write or speak without using it. This is how I know I am applying and taking action. Thank you so much Team Emre for all you do! It is like when you are getting a degree and all of a sudden you are using what you learned in the workplace and in that gain confidence in what you are doing and the decisions that you are making.) Now that the housekeeping is done without further delay...
You ever find a sticking point so strong it felt like you were duct-taped in place??? That has been my week! I am finding my current season sticking point and at its root is my smoking. I want to quit, I also have a million reasons (cough, excuses-in Coach Tulin's voice). I also am about half way through "Girl, stop apologizing"...and in Rachel Hollis' voice all I keep hearing is if not, when? I am not going to sit here and bullshit you that I made the decision and it stuck, I have had a few this weekend, but all things in layers right? It is not my usual pack a day and honestly like shy of half a pack...so why can't I simply drop them?? Why can't I just stop?? It was said this week in a live and I have hung on to it since then, see below!
You know why I simply can't just drop them? Because I do not do the abstinent from anything on my own! I do not control this, in fact, I am powerless over it!!! I am just as powerless over my smoking as I am food sobriety! I can't do it alone and this is an instance where it for damn sure is not my will, but His that will get me through this! This takes me back to my very first white knuckle days when all I wanted was to eat the foods that made me feel numb, that were so comfortable, even when I ate to the point I wanted to be ill. I am in a comfort zone being a smoker...it is like a security blanket and it is time I got out of this comfort zone.
In just this weekend (3days), I have spent almost 3 hours smoking according to an app I am using. Picture it: on average I take about 10 mins to smoke a cigarette if I do this 20 times a day, that is 200 mins, and this does not count the times that I lose them in the house, looking for a lighter, and then that 10 min break is now at 15-20, so that is now 300-400 mins, or 3-6 HOURS A DAY!!!! 3-6 hours a day that I could use to do so many other things, spent wrapped up in a habit that does not serve me, it tastes gross, and it damn sure does not align with how I want to feel...in one week I waste 21-42 hours that I can not get back...and I say I do not have time for a workout? That I do not have time to focus on my to-do list??? I think I just figured out the solution to my sticking point Dude! But it is not that easy, because remember this is an addiction.
There will be a struggle in this, there will be white knuckle moments, I mean I am the girl who when I tried to quite of the many times, I had a pack hurled at and was told not to do that again. But, that is when I did it on my own, I did not give it up to my higher power and I did not have the support system I have now. So I am making the decision, even I slip up and have one or two over the next few days when I write next weeks installment, I will be a nonsmoker, using the vape to get me over the hump!
I do not need this anymore, I need that time each week to focus more on my goals, my health gains, and figuring out how I want my emotions to align with my life. I am not facing this battle on my own, and you know just like my weight gain it took years to gain it, smoking is going to be the same...I am a 22-year smoker, I am going to have some moments that I may slip up and have one, but ebb and flow! When I can turn this battle over to my higher power when I can take the action and do the steps needed to get through this when I can take a leap out of my comfort zone and make this happen...days before a trigger day for me...I am healing and growing, I am on the way to next level me!
Today is 210 days of my "be here a year"....This is 210 days I have focused on making small changes and tweaks every single day to find my better self, not my new self, but my next level me. I am giving this year all I have got as the Universe keeps pushing me. Let me explain what the universe is doing to me, you know that moment you get comfortable in bed, like really comfortable, snuggled right into those blankets, found that perfect spot that is just the right warmth and just the right cool hit that zone of just about sleep...and then you have to pee...This, this right here is what the universe is doing to me...
So as I wrap this up and I start planning this week's goals and look over what worked this week and what didn't, which I had another, win some and lose some weeks, but it helps me regroup for this week.
I leave y'all with this, you won't hit everything out of the park at your the first time up to bat, that is okay, it is about putting the plan into action and practicing, daily! This week we also talked about reps and repetition on a coaching call. Like when lifting, we build up in the weight and do more reps as we build up in muscles. Every day I repeat what went well, tweak what didn't and slowly add in more till I have that routine me and the family can thrive in. When I repeat the process and build from it, I find health gains and life gains...because I focus simply on what is in front of me and is a priority for this 24 hours, the other days before are gone and days after this day in this 14-day block are coming, but what truly matters is what can I do in this 24 hours that aligns with how I want to feel and what I want to accomplish.
Well, Y'all till Next Time!!-
Audie
