#fightbackfebruary

That is the theme of my month and so far, I am fighting back! I have lost roughly 2.7 pounds since the 31st of January. This includes a gain of about 6 pounds and now back on a downward momentum. I also have dropped about .5 from my BMI. There are two things I attest to this that are directly related to food and intake. There is one other thing I am attesting to this drop, I am back in my journaling and readers as well as a quite moment for me everyday. Today is charging day so I held off on my morning moment to charge my fitbit while I did this.

Well, yesterday there were way to many tabs in my brain open and I could not get the words out to what has been going on! So here is the long and short of what inspired me to start #fightbackfebruary and why this year has the motto it does and why

 This year I am getting selfish as well as being me...I am free to choose what I want, my attitude and to be myself! It comes down to a few things,

1) My attitude is what I make it. I can make it positive and I can make it negative. I can chose to be happy or I can chose to be angry. All of this is up to me...which leads me to point 2

2) I am more than Abbie's Mom, Aaron's wife, and an Awana Volunteer. I can't wait to fully discover who I am this year! So far I have discovered I am a writer as well as I am dedicated to sharing my story and knowledge.

3) I refuse to dwell on the past anymore. I am now going to be focused on looking back it to be diligent in preventing it from happening again.

See in January I let things get to me... I let the move, the change of my lifestyle, the unknown of what was going to happen again. I was also in the "I got this mindset"....😏How many times have I had this mindset get me in trouble...Instead of turning it all over, I kept thinking I can handle this. Well the more I leaned on this, the worse it got to reigning it back in. I let things get complicated. This in turn led me back down the rabbit trail that if I had not spent almost the last year and a half in recovery and recognized the signs...January would have been worse than what it is.

So what now?? Well that mistake was a huge forward motion for me. This allowed for me to reevaluate things:

1. Not by my own strength, but by His grace would I finally hit my weight loss goals. 
2. I got a new scale that has changed the way I look at scales. This one tells me everything. Used to I despised the scale, now I like to step on it in the morning. Will explain why in a moment. 
3. January set the tone for the year. 

What happened was I gained 4 pounds as well as a few inches. I also realized I was making things to complicated. Tracking this and that here...so much pressure on weight loss and the lack of it. Worrying so much about what was gonna happen tomorrow. Worrying about the house and bills and how we are gonna eat and this was even with my husband working. 

So I remembered a basic principal and turned it over to my God and little by little...I started seeing some changes. 

I started every morning with a prayer for strength to stay with it, for strength to change, for grace when I slipped up and when I tried to "I got this" the process again like I always do, thanks for the chance to change, for guiding me to this process, and finally praises for the blessings I see and the ones yet to come as we work through this transition as well as the lessons and growth I have been given in this current season of my life. 

I will say this, the transition out of the military life style...it has been an experience. I have had to give up things I love as well as change habits and lifestyle. There have been ups and downs...but I have made the choice and the attitude of fighting back and reestablishing who we are as a couple and who I am as a person.

So here is what I doing to be that butterfly:

1. Weigh daily on a Yunmai Scale. It has a ton of stats and helps me focus just for today since every day, I choose to stay on course due to knowing I am weighing every morning.
2. I track EVERYTHING I eat...if I eat a healthy meal, track it. If I eat a marshmallow, I track it. If I eat a candy bar...I track it. If  I have a healthy snack, I track it. This is helping me figure out what nutrients I am lacking and where I need to tighten up. It also led to me finding out that I needed to make another change.
3. I needed more fiber as well as an alarm to ensure I wore my oils and took my meds.

So far with these changes I am seeing and feeling progress....Just for today, I am cocooning and becoming that butterfly!